The world sells us on the concept that bad girls have way more fun in the bedroom.
If you are not hooking up with that guy you met last time at the party, you are totally missing out.
As young adults, we are pressured and bombarded with sexual messages all around us, in music, movies we watch, even at the check out counter at the grocery store. You know those popular magazine covers, with articles like, “Sex So Hot You’ll Need to Crank The AC”?
The media brain washes us to believe that we need to “give up the goods” before marriage, a new norm these day. Some guys claim that they need to “test drive the goods before they buy.” Sadly so many good girls fall prey to this.
Do bad girls really have all the fun? If I remain sexually pure, am I dooming my sex life? Am I truly missing out? In this article, we will dive into some of the best christian marriage sexuality books on the market.
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Christian Marriage Sexuality Books
When it comes to books on sex, there are quite a few on the market but only a few that offer a biblical spin on the matter. If you are struggling with the concept of sex in the christian marriage or sex before marriage, the following are my top recommendations for christian sexuality books.
#1 The Good Girls Guide To Great Sex by Sheila Wray Gregoire
Billions of people have had sex. Far fewer have made love. In The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, author Sheila Wray Gregoire helps women see how sexual intimacy was designed to be physically stupendous but also incredibly intimate.
Whether you’re about to walk down the aisle or you’ve been married for decades, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex will lead you on a wonderful journey of discovery towards the amazing sex life God designed you for.
If as a christian you are tired of hearing you shouldn’t have sex outside of marriage but no one really gives you a solid reason why not, I would encourage you to first pick up a copy of the book, Sex, Jesus and the Conversations The Church Forgot.
I found Sheila Wray Gregoire’s book The Good Girls Guide To Great Sex to be the perfect balance between biblical and practical. Her book isn’t one of those preachy christian marriage books. Instead, you walk away with biblical truths and ideas to improve your sex life. Sheila Wray Gregoire has been speaking at marriage and women’s conferences for years and also blogs over at To Love Honor and Vacuum where she teaches how good girls should approach sexuality in marriage.
Perhaps growing up sex was somewhat of a taboo topic. Now that you are getting married you are just not to sure about what to expect, Sheila Wray Gregoire has got you covered. In her book, The Good Girls’ Guide to Great Sex, she discusses topics such as, God’s design for sexuality and what honoring God’s design can do for your marriage, body anatomy, birth control methods as well as how men and women think about and approach sex differently.
For the single gals, if you are on the fence about whether you should remain sexually pure, in this book you will find relatable encouragement from women who waited to get married to have sex as well as those who didn’t. The results may surprise you!
Throughout the book she pulls from results from surveys she conducted which helps support the point that good girls are actually having way more fun in the bedroom. I particularly liked that she also included quotes which she termed, ” A Good Girl Speaks” or “A Good Girl Dare” which offered encouragement and additional tips to improve your sex life.
What I liked the most from the book, was that she didn’t just focus on the physical, which is what most individuals tend to focus on when sex is a struggle. She instead encourage couples to do things such as focusing on their friendship and communication, be purposeful in spending time with each other and this in turn will carryover into the bedroom. I liked Sheila Wray Gregoire’s holistic approach to talking about sex, she divides the book into sections which addresses the physical, the spiritual as well as relational aspects. In her book, she also addresses topics such as sex toys and pornography addiction.
If you are looking for a pure, holy and sizzling marriage or want some tips to boost your sex life, you will want to pick up a copy of the book, The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex.
What to Expect: The Good Girl’s Guide To Great Sex
Regardless of what stage you are in your marriage, you can walk away with some solid christian sex advice that can bless your marriage. I would recommend this book for newlyweds or individuals planning on getting married. The topics discussed can help answer your questions about what to expect for your first encounter as well as gain tips to help you establish a solid foundation for your marriage from the start. If you know of a couple getting married, why not include The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex as a gift to the bride for her bridal shower? You can also check out her other book 31 Days to Great Sex.
#2 Sex, Jesus, and The Conversations The Church Forgot
There is much to be said about the the “girl next door.”That was the case for our author who not only came from a good family but was well-mannered. She did what the world views as the norm these days, pawning off her values in desperate hopes of feeling loved.
With sex being so main stream these days, we are made to believe that it is perfectly OK to give of ourselves outside the confines of marriage. In fact, it is the norm, and if we don’t conform, something must be wrong with us. But, just because the majority does it, does that mean it is the right thing to do? Reading this book was like an honest chat with a close friend. Telling you exactly how things are, not condemning you but instead pointing you to truths in the bible and showing you why sex isn’t a bad thing as long as its within the confines of marriage.
From a topic that is somewhat taboo in the church and something the world is pretty obsessed with, the author managed to weave her personal encounters and map those to Gods original design for sex making this book very relatable.
Sure the church is falling short in supporting us in our desires to stay sexually pure. All we hear is that we need to stay pure and if we fall short, we are talked about or criticized.
Which brings me to why I simply love this book. Its not just a book that says you are a christian and shouldn’t have sex outside of marriage or you shouldn’t be doing this or that. Its a book that walks you through a first hand encounter of the struggles of trying to remain sexually pure. It provides a biblical framework for you to understand why you should remain pure.It lets you assess why you might be doing what you are doing and it goes beyond dos and don’t and brings you right back to the word. Sex, Jesus, and The Conversations The Church Forgot is a resource I will most definitely be returning to in the future.
What to Expect: Sex, Jesus and The Conversations The Church Forgot
This wasn’t a book that claimed to be Christian with a few passages placed throughout each chapter. This was a book that delivered you faith-based principles that drove home the message of sexual purity intertwined among the authors personal encounters, struggles and ultimate victory with sexual purity. A must read for young adults or a mom and her child as they read and discuss not just why sex outside of marriage is wrong but the God-honoring concept of purity and how to stay pure. A point to note, the idea of sexual purity doesn’t only relate to girls but it applies to boys as well. You can purchase a copy of the book Sex, Jesus, and The Conversations The Church Forgot.
#3 Saving It For Marriage: Sex, Purity and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart
In this encouraging book, Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal share honestly about their own struggles and victories, and invite women on a personal journey to discover and reclaim a biblical vision for their sexuality.
The book Sex, Purity and the Longings of a Girls heart is a pretty open discussion on topics of sexual purity such as masturbation, pornography and lust. The authors Kristen and Bethany points out that while this is often seen as a “male problem” women often struggle with these issues as well, its just not not talked about much.
Throughout the book both women share their own personal struggles with sex. They pursued purity to avoid consequences such as pregnancy out of wedlock instead of out of a desire to honor God. At the time, they viewed themselves as gold star Christians as they weren’t committing any of the “big bad church sins”. However, they eventually realized purity was more about striving to honor God than avoiding consequences.
From billboards to magazines and movies the message of sex is all around us. The message of the world is to follow your heart, do what feels good, have all the sex that you desire. Does this honor God? Should we care? Here is the thing, God created sex and as the designer, he has good reasons for giving you guidelines about sex. Here is what the Bible has to say about sexual purity.
Sex is an expression of how much you care about your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Everybody is doing it, it’s totally normal. If it feels right and you love him, its totally OK to do it.
These are some of the typical arguments you will hear as a college young adult. In their book, Kirsten and Bethany discuss at length various lies that we as women believe about sex. Lies such as femininity is about being powerful and seductive. They also instilled some truths and reminded us that God has a greater purpose for sex than just the mere action of two consenting adults. They alluded to the fact that we were made for “yada”, a deep intimate connection with God. This intimacy with God then spills over into our other relationships. In God’s design for sex, sex was created as a part of the marriage covenant but instead it has become a tool used by the enemy.
Favorite Tip From Sex, Purity and The Longings of a Girl’s Heart
In pursuing a life of purity, here is one way to flee from sin and seek righteousness:
“Fill your time with things that will draw you closer to God (read your Bible, pray, memorize scripture, listen to worship music, read Biblical grounded books, spend time with Godly women etc.)”
What to Expect: Saving It For Marriage: Sex, Purity and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart
So, here is what you will get from this book. You will come to grips that you are not alone, there are other women who are struggling or have struggled with purity. The authors were openly transparent and shared their personal struggles with sexual sins as well as provided biblical examples. Their willingness to be open makes this book relatable to those who might have similar struggles. The church has been pretty silent on the topic of sex other than to tell us not to have sex before marriage. Instead of avoiding these hush hush questions Kirsten and Bethany tackles them head on turning to the word of God as their source.
For those struggling with sexual sins, this book does provide insights to help you overcome those struggles and remind you that you are not alone. Due to the nature of what’s discussed in Sex Purity and the Longings of a Girls heart I would recommend that younger girls read this with an adult. You can also consider The Whole Story if you are a parent looking to talk to your child about sex without it being totally awkward.
Christian Marriage Sexuality Course
What would life be like if you could flip a switch and suddenly feel “in the mood”?
I know for many women chocolate and a bubble bath sound way more enticing than sex at the end of a long day, but I also know that sex is supposed to be awesome in marriage. And too often we women devalue sex, and end up losing out on something amazing that God created for us!
I don’t want to miss out on something awesome.
So when I saw Sheila Wray Gregoire’s Boost Your Libido course, I got really excited (pardon the pun!). For those of you who don’t know Sheila, she’s the “Christian advice on sex lady” who blogs at To Love, Honor and Vacuum. She’s so down to earth, and she’s so open about her own struggles. And now she’s created a 10-video course that you can take that can really and truly help you to boost your libido!
She starts by talking about how we often don’t understand libido in the first place. We think that if we’re not panting at the sight of our husband, then we must not want sex. But what if our understanding is wrong?
And then she talks about (in a seriously funny way!) how libido is mostly in our heads.
But it’s not ALL in our heads, and throughout the course she shows how understanding our hormones and understanding how our body works (and even accepting the body we have!) can help us want sex more, too.
This is a really fun course, because Sheila is awfully funny. And each module comes with a practical assignment that can help you see immediate results. You don’t have to wait until you finish the course to start your libido revving up and trying these christian marriage intimacy ideas!
I’m passionate about marriage. I think Christians should have the best marriages possible. But too often we miss out because we get too busy, we feel distant, or we just plain don’t understand how we work.
Let this course take the guesswork out of your body, and let Sheila help you learn to think differently and change your routines so that chocolate will never seem like a sex substitute again!
Christian Marriage Sexuality
I hope you found these resources on sex before marriage and sex in the christian marriage helpful. What are some of your favorite christian books on sex that you have found helpful thus far? Drop them in the comments below!
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