Saving It For Marriage: Sex, Purity and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart

saving it for marriage


For the modern Christian woman living in today’s sexually charged society, embracing God’s design for sex and purity can often feel like an impossible pursuit.

In this encouraging book, Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal share honestly about their own struggles and victories, and invite women on a personal journey to discover and reclaim a biblical vision for their sexuality. This week on the blog, we will be discussing saving sex for marriage: sex purity and the longings of a girls heart.


saving it for marriage

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Saving It For Marriage: Sex, Purity and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart

The book Sex, Purity and the Longings of a Girls heart is a pretty open discussion on topics of sexual purity such as masturbation, pornography and lust. The authors Kristen and Bethany points out that while this is often seen as a “male problem” women often struggle with these issues as well, its just not not talked about much.

Throughout the book both women share their own personal struggles with sex. They pursued purity to avoid consequences such as pregnancy out of wedlock instead of out of a desire to honor God. At the time, they viewed themselves as gold star Christians as they weren’t committing any of the “big bad church sins”. However, they eventually realized purity was more about striving to honor God than avoiding consequences.

From billboards to magazines and movies the message of sex is all around us. The message of the world is to follow your heart, do what feels good, have all the sex that you desire. Does this honor God? Should we care? Here is the thing, God created sex and as the designer, he has good reasons for giving you guidelines about sex. Here is what the Bible has to say about sexual purity.

Sex is an expression of how much you care about your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Everybody is doing it, it’s totally normal. If it feels right and you love him, its totally OK to do it.

These are some of the typical arguments you will hear as a college young adult. In their book, Kirsten and Bethany discuss at length various lies that we as women believe about sex. Lies such as femininity is about being powerful and seductive. They also instilled some truths and reminded us that God has a greater purpose for sex than just the mere action of two consenting adults. They alluded to the fact that we were made for “yada”, a deep intimate connection with God. This intimacy with God then spills over into our other relationships. In God’s design for sex, sex was created as a part of the marriage covenant but instead it has become a tool used by the enemy.

Favorite Tip From Sex, Purity and The Longings of a Girl’s Heart

In pursuing a life of purity, here is one way to flee from sin and seek righteousness:

“Fill your time with things that will draw you closer to God (read your Bible, pray, memorize scripture, listen to worship music, read Biblical grounded books, spend time with Godly women etc.)”


Saving It For Marriage: Sex, Purity and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart

So, here is what you will get from this book. You will come to grips that you are not alone, there are other women who are struggling or have struggled with purity. The authors were openly transparent and shared their personal struggles with sexual sins as well as provided biblical examples. There willingness to be open makes this book relatable to those who might have similar struggles. The church has been pretty silent on the topic of sex other than to tell us not to have sex before marriage. Instead of avoiding these hush hush questions Kirsten and Bethany tackles them head on turning to the word of God as their source.


Personally, I think this would have been better read if the authors focused more on their sexual struggles and overcoming it. For those struggling with sexual sins, this book does provide insights to help you overcome those struggles and remind you that you are not alone. If you are wanting to read more on the topic, I would also encourage you to read the book, Sex, Jesus and the Conversations the Church Forgot. Due to the nature of what’s discussed in Sex Purity and the Longings of a Girls heart I would recommend that younger girls read this with an adult.


I would love to hear your thoughts on saving sex for marriage, drop them in the comments below. Have you read the book, Sex Purity and the longings of a girls heart?


More Articles You May Like:

Sex, Jesus and the Conversations The Church Forgot

The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex

What Does The Bible Say About Sexual Purity

5 Tips on How to Dress Modest But Still Look Cute


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