Marriage Expectations Vs. Reality: Marriage Truths No One Admits



I’m delighted to have Tiffany Montgomery join us today from Hope & Joy In Christ. Tiffany has a passion for encouraging wives through biblical discipleship and has just launched a self-paced marriage course to help strengthen marriages. I had the opportunity to preview the course, and found it to be a refreshing take on love and what it means to have a Godly and successful marriage. One lucky reader will also win a free spot in the course, don’t miss all the details at the end. This week on the blog, Tiffany will be discussing Marriage Expectations vs. Reality: Marriage Truths No One Admits

Marriage Expectations vs. Reality: Marriage Truths No One Admits

I just don’t feel that “in love” feeling anymore in my Biblical Marriage.  Why doesn’t he want to spend as much time with me?  What did I do wrong this time?  Ever thought any of these things as that hopeless feeling overwhelms you?

What if I told you that we have been sold a lie?  The culture has fed us a line of propaganda about love and what marriage should look like that just fails the test.

Don’t believe me?  Can you find another reason we have a divorce rate over 50%?  More than 50% of all marriages end in divorce in the world and inside the church.

That is unbelievable on one hand but as a divorced woman I can’t deny it is true.


Cultural Love is a feeling that comes and goes

If we marry for love alone, when that feeling is gone, divorce seems the logical choice.

What if I told you that we have perverted the word love and need to completely throw out our definition and start over? 

Seems radical, but when I think about the life of a Christian – someone who follows Jesus example in life – I think radical is appropriate.  When I open the Bible I see a kind of love that is unconditional, practical, romantic and unending.


Marriage Expectations vs. Reality: Biblical Love is a Verb

We see this clearly in 1 Corinthians 13 – well maybe not so clearly if your eyes are already glazing over.  How many times have you heard that passage taught?  Can we look at it afresh today?  Maybe just the first 2 words?

Expectations in Marriage: Biblical Love is Patient

Patient in this passage means -Love does not lose heart while enduring misfortunes and bearing offenses and injuries of others

Whew, I can be quick to lose my patience with people around me – especially my husband.

Patience is certainly an action. There are 2 parts to putting patience into practice in my Marriage.

Pray before I speak

Prayer might seem really passive, but truly it is the main offensive weapon God gave us to fight a real enemy who is attacking our marriages!

And a perspective shift is critical

My husband is human and prone to mistakes, just like me; I need to forgive him when he messes up.

Forgiveness is an area that we have to tackle head on.  I’ve created a Forgiveness Challenge to help us do that better – check it out here!

Expectations in Marriage: Biblical Love is Kind

Kindness seems like a vague religious word doesn’t it? Nope, it is another action word or verb of love.  What does it mean?

Love does/speaks good when it can, even in the face of injuries.  (I would be fine with this one if it stopped before the comma… I mean can I get an Amen?)

[bctt tweet=”How to fight for your marriage when its far from a fairy tale.” username=”faith_solid”]


In my natural human self I just can’t do that.

One way I have applied this verb is to find things that my husband likes and do them even when I want to lash out.

Kindness puts him first even when he has not been kind.

When I am hurt, I have had to learn to pray.  Have you noticed a pattern here? I can’t be a godly wife without God’s help. When I pray, God reminds me to forgive (I know – another reoccurring theme!)

Those are just the first two words in what is an action packed Biblical way to love.  When we live in the cultural love cycle we find find hopelessness.  But God’s way – Biblical Love – is the way to find Hope and Joy in my Marriage.


Marriage Expectations vs. Reality

Are you longing for Hope and Joy in your Marriage?

God took me through a journey of re-learning how to live as a wife with a Biblical Worldview.  It is a joy for me to teach and mentor locally and I am thrilled to launch this new Online Course.

Hope_and_joy_in_a_biblical_marriage_cultural love

In this 9 week Bible Study we will dig into the Bible and find out how to restore our Marriage – rebuilding it to last a lifetime!

This Marriage Bible Study will include:

  • 10 Self paced video lessons
    • Love
    • Forgiveness
    • Desires Vs. Preferences
    • My Mouth
    • Appreciation & Admiration
    • The Leader
    • Understanding Men
    • Respect
    • My Priorities
  • 9 weeks of personal study
    • 5 days each week that should take 10-15 minutes
  • 45 Days of Prayer prompts


More Articles You May Like:

God’s Design For Marriage: Principles For Today’s Generation

Hopeless Marriage Restored: What to do When Your  Marriage Seems Hopeless

Unique Date Night Ideas For Couples On A Budget

 Cultural Love Is Hopeless in a Biblical Marriage|christian marriage advice woman tips|cultural-love|Biblical-marriage




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  • Reply
    Tiffany Montgomery
    February 14, 2019 at 1:26 pm

    Love this and so thankful you let me share it with your readers.

  • Reply
    Hopeless Marriage Restored: What to do When Your Marriage Seems Hopeless - Rock Solid Faith
    July 23, 2019 at 11:10 pm

    […] Articles You May Like Cultural Love Is Hopeless In A Biblical Marriage Submission God’s Design For Marital Delight Unique Date Night Ideas For Couples On A […]

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